It doesn’t matter where or how you got one, first dates are awesome. And terrifying。不论你在哪儿及怎样约会,初次约会感觉很棒。还有些吓人。
Whether you’re meeting up with your hairdresser’s cousin’s single friend, or you’ve decided to choose an unusual date on HowAboutWe, there are more ‘first world problems’ in the world of dating now than ever. On your first date, they can be deal-breakers, so check out these 11 first date tips for modern love lives。不管你是要去见你理发师的堂兄弟的单身朋友,还是你决定在约会交友网站HowAboutWe上选择一位不寻常的对象,如今约会是到的“重大” 问题比起以往要来得多。它们可能会成为初次约会的“不速之客”,因此看看这11条关于现代爱情生活的初次约会的建议吧。
1. Know when it’s a date (and when it isn’t)分清什么时候是在约会(什么时候不是约会)
There are no hard rules any more when it comes to what counts as a date. You could go for nachos
with several friends and still make that your first date if you both want to. Or you could meet one-on-one, have dinner, sleep together, and call it “friends with benefits”. That being so, your safest bet is to be clear by calling it a date when you agree where and when to meet up。关于怎么界定什么是约会已经没有很严格的规则了。你可以约几个朋友一起去吃烤干酪辣味玉米片,如果你们俩都愿意的话,这同样可以当成你们的初次约会。你也可以一对一见面、吃饭、睡觉,称之为“炮友”。也就是说,最稳妥的做法是,你要清楚你们如何界定在哪里及在什么时候见面算约会。
2. Talk, don’t text交谈,不要发短信
Asking someone on a date by text or IM might seem like a great way to dodge confidence issues, but it loses a lot of your message. Instead, make the arrangements the old-fashioned way by phone or in person so that you can hear each other’s voices. And if you’re invited on a date via SMS, text back, “Sounds good. Give me a call when you’re free to talk about it!”通过短信或IM(即时通讯软件)约会似乎是一种规避信心不足的非常好的方法,但它会丢失了很多信息。用传统的方式安排约会,那就是打电话,或面对面说,这样你可以听到彼此的声音。如果别人发短信邀约你,你就回复:“听起来不错。如果你方便沟通的话,给我打个电话。”
3. Don’t do dinner不要选择吃饭时间
Dinner takes a while and if you’re desperate to escape after the first drink, you’ll wish you’d arranged a shorter date! Go for a lunch date instead, or choose a non-food situation like a walk in the park. That way you can leave early if you want, or make it last all afternoon if you’re having fun。吃晚餐很花时间,如果在喝完第一杯酒以后你非常想离开,你会希望你安排了一次简短的约会。可以选择吃顿午饭,或是不要选择吃饭的时段,比如在公园里散个步。这样的话,如果你想早点结束约会,就可以早点走啦;或是你觉得很有趣,可以让它持续一整个下午。
4. Agree a connectivity policy协商一致
Do you hate it when people answer phone calls during a date? Or are you too busy tweeting to notice? Agree with your date from the start about what’s OK and what’s rude so that you won’t get annoyed with each other’s mobile interruptions。约会时对方还在接电话,你是不是不喜欢?或是你自己忙着发微博?从一开始和约会对象商定哪些是允许的,哪些是不礼貌的举动,这样当对方手机响起打扰你们谈话时,你就用不着生气了。
5. Smell nice清新的气味
Smell is one of the most complex human senses; it triggers emotions, memories, and physical feelings. If you smell nice to your date, they’ll find you more attractive; if you smell nice to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and attractive, too. Scents that most people (male or female) like include fruits, vanilla, and clean human skin。嗅觉是人类最复杂的感官之一;它会激发情感、记忆、和身体的感受。如果气味不令人讨厌,你就更有吸引力;如果你自己觉得气味不错,你会更有自信和更有吸引力。大多数人(包括男性和女性)喜欢的气味包括水果味、香草味和清洁的体味。
6. Ask them to do you a favour请他们帮你一个忙
It may sound backwards, but it’s true. Research shows that asking somebody to do you a personal favour tends to make them like you more, so ask for something small like their help to choose a gift for a friend. Then thank them plenty and show your gratitude by inviting them on a second date!听起来可能会不理解,但这是真的。研究表明,请别人帮你一个忙通常会让他们更加喜欢你,所以请他们帮个小忙,比如说在为朋友选礼物上给个建议。然后深情地谢谢他们,再次邀约他们以表达你的谢意。
7. Pick up your own tab为自己那一份买单
It’s so much less complicated than negotiating any other payment arrangement with someone you barely know. And because it’s fair, neither of you will feel owed or owing。比起和你几乎不了解的人商量如何结账,各付各的就没那么复杂了。因为这是公平的,所以你们双方不会觉得谁欠谁。
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